Let’s take a look inside Don Simpson’s bedroom

The headboard concealed a hidden compartment containing a shotgun and machete, the last line of defense against the intruders—be they mob-hired hit men, deranged prostitutes, jilted rivals or psychotic drug dealers—the paranoid producer expected at any time.

Of course, to get to the bedroom, would-be assailants would have had to make it past the bevy of long-range security cameras (which are still operational) and a labyrinth of pressure sensors concealed under the wall-to-wall carpeting; stepping on one would cause doors within the house to lock automatically.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean someone isn’t trying to kill you.

Even if it’s you.