Three things I need to say to Kamala Harris

Kamala, what the fuck?

It’s not a dog and pony show. It’s a television debate.

You’re supposed to wrangle words and language in your favour. Mike Pence triumphed over you by simply dropping the words ‘America’ and ‘American’ every chance he got. Used them as nouns, verbs, adjectives, whatever.

You kept talking about facts. It’s a television debate. On television.

Television doesn’t care about facts. It’s drama all the way. Narrative from go to whoah.

1. Jiujutsu the language away from the Republicans. How? Stop calling people ‘people’.   Call them ‘Americans.’ Stop saying ‘people died’. Start saying ‘innocent Americans died’.

2. Fuck with Pence every chance you get. Ask him if he wants to invite his wife on stage because you know how uncomfortable he is one on one with any other woman. Ask him who does his hair? If he ever changes his suit? How his Russian language lessons are coming along?

2. Never refer to Donald Trump as ‘President Trump’. Refer to him as ‘President Slump’.

Like I said to Joe, give Americans a simple three-step plan to kill the monster, save their lives and heal the land. You don’t want to win 51 percent of the vote.

You want a landslide that will carry you across multiple terms.

Take ‘em out once and for all, Kamala.